F U in Your Mind Hole

As I continue on my paranormal romance journey - at times carefully navigating the alpha male/forced sexual encounter line - I've discovered the appeal of a certain trope of paranormal loving. Often the alpha male is so big (literally his giant penis is so big) or so scary or so strong that the heroine is afraid or timid and in order to woo her he must first come to her in her dreams, a.k.a f her in her mind hole. These dream encounters are so lovely and sensual that the heroine no longer fears his giant man (cock) and soon welcomes him in to her bed.

Oh baby you're so dreamy please do me in my dreams ...

Oh no, I could never say yes to you, unless you do me in my dreams ....

These fantasies skirt the line of rape (he's immortal and therefore willfully controlling her dream), but they also open the door for the heroine to release her inhibitions and give in to her desires - they find a way to appeal to the desire for capture, rescue, protection fantasies while simultaneously appealing to the desire for strong, sexy heroines. Is this trope troubling? Perhaps, depending on how it's written - but it can also be incredibly hot.

Bind and Serve

Did anyone else know there is a sub-genre of romance labeled "Capture and Bondage"? I particularly like this cover/title combo as it implies things that are neither quick nor easy.



And this week's cover of the week goes to Outlook Orgasmic. Bonus points for lewd use of childhood games. If only they could have covered his magic balls with the magic eight ball. Ahh to dream.



Read an excerpt here.

To Slut or Not To Slut

My least favorite bitches (the ladies of The View) had a mildly interesting debate on sluts today. What these ladies, and everyone else who's been obsessed with the topic lately, tend to be gleaning over is that slut remains one of the most gender biased terms in our lexicon - so whether you are pro-sex (yeah!) or anti-sex (boo!), let's start by acknowledging that the dictionary definition of slut remains:

1. a person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous
2. a dirty, slovenly woman
3. an immoral or dissolute woman, a prostitute

While some may view sexual shaming as progress, and be excited by the idea that both boys and girls are currently being labeled as sluts - I simply see it as a disturbing progression of self and sexual loathing. I don't think we can ever divorce slut and gender bias. So while we may be evening the playing field, we are still implying boat loads of negativity on what should be seen as a natural and healthy progression.

Sex is good and fun and healthy and a natural part of life - and regardless of your personal views - can't we all just agree that it's never good to make young people feel bad about themselves and their bodies. Yes, I know some people think shame is a useful tool - but really, those people just suck.

Duck and Cover

While I've spent most of the past three days wishing I was at RWA (aka Romance Writers of America conference). I could not pass up this awesome new addition to romance. Move over puppies and dragons, it's DUCK TIME!

Changeling press has released the following e-short featuring "duck love". My only question is - where do we go from here? Of all the animal fetishes, I thought ducks would be pretty low on the totem pole.



"With her favorite dirty ditty playing through her mind, Mia’s shocked to see that her fine feathered friend has turned into a hard-bodied hunk worth quacking over. What the hell is she supposed to do now?" - read an excerpt here.

P.S. Am I the only one who, upon seeing the cover, immediately started singing the Ducktales theme?

Originally posted on the always awesome Smart Bitches/Trashy Books.

I'm not quite sure what to think here

Is she some sort of sexy human/dog cross breed? Why does she only have a tail? Is dog sex hot now?

Best use of bunny costume

Another contender for the Best. Cover. Ever.



Possible explanations for the bunny ears:
1. She's waaaay in to Easter
2. She has a hard-on for hare
3. He asked if they could do it like bunnies. She agreed, but had something else in mind.
4. Playboy Bunny 2.0
5. She's wadding in to furry waters

Heaven

Filling, pumping, fueling

Rumor has it someone is remaking I Dream of Jeannie. Fifties t.v. adaptations never really work on the big screen (Bewitched, The Beverly Hillbillies), so the question of the day is - is there an actor who could save this movie? I'm voting Hayden Panettiere. Yes she's a little young, but she's very attractive and can pull off doe-eyed with out looking dumb.

I've been reading J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series and while I absolutely love it - I must poke fun. I recently ran across some rather excellent romance phrasing. As the main characters' lovemaking progressed, he began - "pumping her, filling her ..." and __________ (you fill in the blank). All that came to my mind was fueling her?! Apparently reading newspapers can have an affect on your romance novel habit. I must now stave off the image of a dark, sticky vampire pumping her, filling her, fueling her ...

J. R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood

www.jrward.com

In Defense of Denise Richards

I watched less then 5 minutes of Denise Richard's new E! reality show this weekend and it has me thinking - Denise Richards has been lambasted by the media for supposedly commenting that she is doing a reality show because she needs 'money'. Pundits have rightly pointed out that Ms. Richards has millions and doesn't need to do 'anything' for the money.

What if Denise Richard's is doing her E! show because she feels the need to work? Yes, she may have a large amount of money now, but fortunes change. To her credit, Starship Troopers was a minor cult hit and Drop Dead Gorgeous was one of the funniest movies of the 1990s; and she was a Bond girl. Perhaps, she merely has a work ethic and thinks that this is the best opportunity available to her. How many men with generous bank accounts would be told to stop working in their 30s because they have enough money to be taken care of? Maybe she simply has no intention of leaving the work force.

Lulu + Johnny

Update - for those of you not living in soap opera world this is a big week - my couple, Johny and Lulu, is finally getting it on. Hooray!

Personally, I think that people who love each other should make out as much as possible; but that's just me.



In chick news, I totally have a crush on Keira Knightely. I thought she was pretty hot in Domino, and I liked her in Bend it Like Beckham and Pirates (to be fair, I was pretty much focused on Orlando Bloom) - but King Arthur has totally won me over. I'm going to watch Pride and Prejudice and Silk and get back to you. Go team Knightely.

Three Day Movie Extravaganza

Saturday AM - Sunday AM: The Lost Room. Peter Krause struggles to save his daughter from a freaky parallel universe, magical objects and the horror of metaphysics. Really good actually. Yeah Sci-Fi Channel.

Saturday: Indiana Jones - action, adventure, treasure. Treasure!

Sunday AM: King Arthur. So good! Basically asks you to imagine that Guinevere was not a whore. She did not get it on with Lancelot. She was actually Merlin's daughter and a hottie warrior. Guinevere loved Arthur and Arthur loved Guinevere. G + A 4 Ever. ahhh.

Sunday: Speed Hand Kumar (aka Harold and Kumar). Obviously, this should have been the movie title. Here's the deal - ladies, if you're looking to score some points you should suggest going to see Speed Hand. Pretty funny with lots of cultivation, weed and vagina humor - wear a nice bra in case you get too bored.

Monday: Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Dreamy Italian teen and confident English moppets save a magical kingdom from terror and demise. Sequels to follow.

Puh-lease

So, I am a self proclaimed naughty librarian. I would even go so far as to say that my husband thinks I'm a sexy librarian. But I would never, never attempt to shelve books in 4 inch heels. Come the fuck on - we librarians are known for many things, and sensible footwear and cardigans are definitely at the the top of that list.

Read at your own peril.


(www.candacehavens.com)

Here's the tag line - "librarian who sees dead people" - uh huh, not yet sold on how craptastic this book will be? Allow me to continue, "Kira Smythe never thought she'd end up back in her hometown of Sweet, Texas. But now that her high-powered job, along with her five-year plan, have gone right out the window, she's back where she started, staying with her hippie, tofu-obsessed parents-except that somehow she's inherited the local library." - question, how exactly do you inherit a public institution? and BTW librarians are professionals with graduate degrees, it's not some crap job you take because your five year plan falls through, but I digress ...

I tried reading Candace Haven's earlier book Charmed and Dangerous - and frankly, it's about the worst piece of crap ever. I was stuck with this book on my lunch hour and it was so bad, that I opted to stare at the wall instead of keep reading. And Candace, listing that you are a former entertainment columnist is not the best way to win me over - I am so not impressed.

Cirque Du Freak

How did I miss this?



The movie version of Cirque Du Freak is coming out this year and the cast is amazing. Salma Hayek and John C. Reilley!

I love these books, they're short and devilish and totally tween scary.

Best Album Cover Ever

This makes me extremely happy.



Now if we could only see a pic of ManOwar in a TugOwar. What can I say, I dream big.

Vampires

I can't help myself. I have finally been hit by Twilight fever. Damn this looks good.

In other vamp news, I'm slowly working my way through Colleen Gleason's Gardella Vampire Chronicles. Fun, historical, cheeky and a little less naughty then I'd like - hottie Jane Austen-esque bad ass female vampire hunter included. I love them so much that I'm even dreaming about them. Last night I hunted demons and chopped off their heads with my super sweet samurai sword. Oh yeah, I kicked ass.


www.colleengleason.com