4.28.2008

You Look Old

Charla Krupp released her book How Not to Look Old in January, 2008. I remember seeing her on all of the big news shows and being rather ambivalent about the book. As a 28 year old who worries about wrinkles, I thought it best not to judge this seemingly helpful book and let it slip from my mind. But last night at Barnes and Nobles, I picked up this New York Times Best Seller and was totally annoyed.

Dear Ms. Krupp,

You look old. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but the youngest that you look in your cover photo is 48. Don't worry, I'm sure you're not a day over 55. You're trying way too hard.

I feel for your readers and their desire to look young, so I thought that I would save them $26 and summarize the tips that you and a million other fashion experts continue to extol.

1. If you are 24 or older, stop shopping in the juniors section.
2. Buy plain, well fitted dark wash jeans.
3. Update your make-up every year or so - if you're rockin the same look as your high school daughter, you're in trouble.
4. Wear mosturizer, take a vitamin and drink water.
5. Ms. Krupp would like you all to wear high heels, personally I think they suck but whatever, lots of women feel sexy in them - I think cute and comfy shoes like Clark Priva's are just as sexy.
6. Don't wear tea or ankle length skirts.
7. Update you hair-do and jewelery. If your look is more then 5 years old, it's probably too old.
8. Wear Spanx.
9. Buy some cute, funky glasses.

Everybody got it? Great, now you can take that $26 and buy some steamy romances, which I GUARANTEE will make you feel sexier then this book.

P.S. There is nothing wrong with being old. There is nothing sexier then a mature, confident and vibrant older woman. Need proof? Check out uber-hottie Helen Mirren.



Damn she's hot!

2 comments:

  1. She doesn't look old; she looks airbrushed -- to oblivion. Speaking as a male, this claustrophobic, mannequinization of women young and old needs to stop. They did it with Emily Dickinson, Dorothy Parker, Kate Winslet, Bea Arthur, Nina Simone -- you name it. The Man can dandify their faces, but not their brains.

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  2. Well put Bryan. I think what troubles me the most about this book is that it tells women they have to look young to be deemed sexy/slim/hip - and then it goes on to list all of the ridiculously expensive places you have to shop at to get that look. I guess if you're older and poor you're just screwed, oh wait no you never will be, you're to poor to buy the goods to make you pretty again.

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