Sweet Valley 2.0

Random House is re-releasing Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley High series. Which has me thinking - that there may be some truth to those Sweet Valley Heights rumors. The new Sweet Valley High covers are pretty cute, in an OC, Gossip Girls cutesy way.

If you're craving some Sweet Valley love (chick lit style) check out Sophia Kinsella's Can You Keep a Secret or Undomestic Goddess.

News Briefs

Jenna Jameson has a new romance fiction line. I'm assuming that it's erotica, but I could be wrong.

A teenage cheerleader in Palm Beach, Florida has died from complications related to her breast implants.

You can now play Miss Bimbo dress up dolls at MissBimbo.com. It's like Stardolls, but more offensive. You can buy boob jobs. Why wouldn't you just make your virtual boobs as big as you want?

Millions of people freaked out yesterday when the Netflix server crashed. Netflix had everything back up and running within 24 hours. Movies were delayed one day, get over it.

Why Mariah Carey is a Genius

Imagine that you are a 35 year old female singer (because mathematically that is what you are). Then imagine that you are hot and want to make a video where you wear a sexy school girl outfit, knee high socks and a glitter mini-dress. The only way to really do this and not look stupid is to make the scene plausible in some way. So you hire the adorable-ish but ultimately ugly geek from 30 rock, and you make the video your geek tech boy clerk's fantasy daydream. You get to wear all of your ridiculous outfits and not look gross - and that's the genius of Mariah Carey.

In women's magazine news, according to Redbook, married couples who have trouble communicating have trouble having satisfying sex. This is bad. Apparently some couples had more sex when they did such helpful things as talk to each other, know where each other was and what they were interested in. Also, best not to get fat and/or gross. Thanks for the fucking update.

And in other news - all cabinet colors now have food names. Would you like: toffee, mocha creme or toasted marshmallow?

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Happy birthday Mr. Rogers! Organizers in Philadelphia have declared today Sweater Day.



Speaking of clothes, apparently I'm on the bad feminist list again. Feministing and others have come out against Spanx. They argue that these seemingly innocuous products perpetuate female stereotypes and force women in to trying to achieve the perfect body (via spandex). Here's my two cents - I love and wear spanx bras and camis every day. I do not wear them because I think that I am fat or gross or to mold myself into an idealized female form. I wear them because I have constant back and bra pain - and spanx makes that pain go away. So basically, I disagree.

And in incest news - hubby and I recently watched The Other Boleyn Girl. Which I loved, more for the costumes and scenery then the plot - but that is beside the point. As the movie comes to a close, Anne, who has recently miscarried the King's baby, begs her brother to sleep with and hopefully impregnate her (which could ultimately save her life). As the scene played out, there were audible gasps of disgust from the audience. I didn't think much about it - other then the obligatory yuk of course - until this weekend when we watched an episode of Picket Fences. As the episode drew to a close, we discovered a prominent business man in bed with two hookers - who just happen to be sisters. While the townspeople are disgusted that the women are prostitutes, no one mentions incest. This leads me to the question of the day:

Why is some dude paying to diddle two sisters less offensive and disgusting then a brother sleeping with/and or impregnating his sister to save her life?



And because it's hot is not a valid answer. They're hot is also unacceptable.

Barack Obama

I believe that voting is a private issue. I do not ask people who they vote for, and I try not push my views onto others. I have hesitated to blog about my candidate, but I think that the time has come to speak out and say that I support Barack Obama. I voted for Barack Obama. I believe that Barack Obama has the vision, intelligence and experience to become the next Commander in Chief.

Like many others, I was deeply moved by Obama's recent speech on race in America. Obama's words ring true in a way that no other politician's have. I believe Barack Obama - and I believe in him. For the first time in my life I am able to vote for a politician that I believe in, and that is both amazing and sad.

As a feminist, I understand the impulse to vote for Hilary. Having a female president is an important step in U.S. history. I know that we will someday have a female president. However, I refuse to vote for someone that I do not believe in because she is biologically female. I believe that Obama is a feminist, and I believe that he is the best feminist candidate.

Race and gender do matter. We can not forget the struggles of our past and present in forging hope for our future. I am a product of my ancestry, and I have faced obstacles because of my gender. I am a privileged white woman who does her best to support all Americans. I have done and said things that I am not proud of - I have made mistakes and I take ownership of those mistakes because I am certain that the only way to move forward is through hard and honest work. I am determined to strive for a new and better United States. I believe in change, and I have hope for this country.



I hesitated to write this post because it really does stray from the message and purpose of this blog. I sincerely doubt that I will make another similar post, and promise that I will soon be back to my vagtastic naughtiness.

Francine Pascal's 90210

The CW is in talks to bring back Beverly Hills 90210. I would be lying if I did not admit that I am a little intrigued by this, but my over riding feeling is gross. Eonline is reporting that Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas is working on this project, and that it is a retelling not a recreation. While I loved Logan and Neptune, I'm still on the fence about this one. Logan was very cute.

There have also been rumors that Francine Pascal would bring back the Sweet Valley twins. In theory, the twins (and all of their friends from high school) would be living together in some sort of weird, OC style gated community. Hopefully, this project has stalled. It's only a good idea for the first five minutes.

And in research news, researchers in the U.K. surveyed 66,000 men and found that the majority of them prefer women with blond hair and blue eyes. They also prefer that she be less the 6 feet tall and make between $30,000 and $60,000 a year. Shocking. I bet they also like women with nice breasts.

Thanks.

Math

One in four teenage girls have a sexually transmitted disease.

Teenagers are defined as people between the ages of 13 and 19.

One in two people are women (margin of error = close enough)

Most people have sex by the end of their freshmen year in college, or by the time they turn 19.

Is this really news? Scare-tactics aside, parents you should give your daughters the new vaccine. Yes, it is uncomfortable for you; but, it doesn't need to be for them. Do you show your children pictures of iron lungs and discuss the symptoms of measles? Just tell them it's a cancer shot, or don't tell them anything at all. If the CDC strongly recommends that we vaccinate, I think that we should probably comply. Cancer sucks.

Apparently I Missed the Memo

I'm having one of those days. I stayed up way too late watching WE tv's Women Behind Bars - a new and sad episode featuring a 35 year old woman who was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to life in prison for killing her father (who sexually and physically abused her for 10 years). She shot him when she was 18. While obviously a victim of battered women's syndrome - her trial judge refused to allow the jury to consider self defense. Her clemency appeal is still (and perhaps forever) waiting for the governor of Missouri.

After the episode I caught a commercial for WE's new show Bulging Brides. A bootcamp style reality show that tortures perfectly beautiful women with harsh trainers and the impending doom of making it to their "final dress fitting". Puke. Let's all agree to not watch this crappy show. And ladies, just buy some spanx and get over yourself. Your wedding is only ONE day of your life. Here's a crazy idea - why don't you spend the months before your wedding working on your relationship? Marriage is hard, at any size. Give up the brideorexia and focus on something a little more important. And if you really are having body and self esteem issues, maybe you aren't ready to get married.

Add to that my lamentable decision to watch "Dr." Laura's inane and ignorant today show comments - apparently, women are to blame for their husbands cheating, and you can see why I'm a little off.

Oh and I just realized that my underwear is backwards. Isn't the back part supposed to be bigger then the front? Apparently I missed the memo.

P.S. Yes, I know what a thong is; but I am referring to boy short underwear.

Best Cover Ever?

I'm trying to think of exactly the right phrase.



Originally posted on the Misadventures of Super Librarian.

Yeah, very funny

From the Science Creative Quarterly, check out my favorite winning project from the Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair.

2nd Place: “Women Were Designed For Homemaking”
Jonathan Goode (grade seven) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

Everyone involved here sucks. Sorry kids.

University News

University of Illinois Urbana Champaign Health Information Portal. University library subject page.

"Hunting for health information on the Web isn’t always good for your health. Understanding the potholes and other problems, librarians at the University of Illinois have built a site that will allow users to bypass most Web-related symptoms: a single route to the best, most up-to-date health news available online. The new Health Information Portal brings together health information from many disciplines and sources, making them available in one convenient, easy-to-access place."

An Open Letter to Charlotte Allen and the WaPo

Dear Ms. Allen,
I see that you have been racked over the coals today for your column. Let me offer you a few suggestions.

First let me say that OMG you are like so totally right on. Women getting excited about things and expressing themselves freely is like so totally wrong. I mean seriously, we should be training women to only behave in certain ways - to always monitor what they say, to never express joy and (of course) to be quiet, pleasant and contrite. Do you think you could help us get state and federal funding for this? Maybe instead of high school (what a waste for our little brains) - all girls could go to finishing school!

When you wrote "Women 'are only children of a larger growth,' wrote the 18th-century Earl of Chesterfield. Could he have been right?" - I'm assuming that you were referring to yourself. Perhaps you are merely a child of larger growth, could this explain your lack of education regarding history and European views of women in the 18th century? You may want to reconsider your source material.

Thank you so much for bashing books, tv shows and movies about happiness, romance, feelings, spirituality and love! You are so right. Why would any person want these things in their life? I guess those founding fathers were way off the mark when they mentioned life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Silly girly men. They should have aspired to better things like harsh reality, forceful conquests and self loathing depression. Best not to read for enjoyment or enjoy ourselves. In fact, if we keep reading we'll only get - gasp - smarter. We certainly don't want to condone the education of women.

"I am perfectly willing to admit that I myself am a classic case of female mental deficiencies" - clearly you are mentally deficient, but I don't think it has anything to do with your gender.

And finally, thank you for ending with this gem: "Then we could shriek and swoon and gossip and read chick lit to our hearts' content and not mind the fact that way down deep, we are . . . kind of dim." - While I'm sure you are right, could you please explain the causal link between being dim and reading chick lit. Perhaps, you could site some research that supports this statement. Oh I'm sorry, did I confuse you with my big words? Maybe you should ask one of your male colleagues to explain it to you.

Best of luck in your future endeavors. I'm sure that I will never hear from you again, as by now you have probably taken your own advice and retired to rest your poor, dim brain

Regards,
The Naughty Librarian, M.A., M.S.

P.S. Isn't it amazing that by the age of 27 my little brain could manage to earn both a Masters of Arts and a Masters of Science. I guess I better quit while I'm ahead. In fact, I think I'm due to start breeding in another couple of years - if only I could do the math and figure out when?!

P.P.S. I am a librarian and researcher. Not only do I read professionally (and teach others how to do it) - I often suggest sources and materials to others. Until the Washington Post issues a real and formal apology, I will be boycotting their publication. Ms. Allen's column is not tongue and cheek, but this blog post is - see the difference?