I Promise to Never

Esquire recently ran an article detailing all of the things that dudes should never do in front of their girlfriends. While I wasn't bothered by any of the things on the list, I was inspired by Jezebel's follow up piece entitled "the one thing besides take a dump you should never do in front of dudes".

Without further ado, here is my List of Activities Best Kept Private, subtitled: Why I Have a Happy Marriage.

1. Anything related to Aunt Flo. Purchasing tampons together is fine, inserting and removing them, not so much.
2. Watching soap operas and Lifetime movies. Give the man a break, it's good enough that he sits and listens to me talk about them for hours on end.
3. Eyebrow plucking/facial grooming. Nothing inherently wrong here, I just like a little private time.
4. Closet Cleaning - It's not like he's really going to tell you whether or not your favorite shirt is too small, stained or unflattering.
5. Flossing.
6. Nail clipping/filing.
7. Most things involving a Q-tip.
8. Voting.